Being reckless

Hi everyone.

I just had a couple of awful, horrible days. Let's see past that and choose to be happy!


Do you know what I feel like sometimes?


I feel like bying stuff on the internet for money that I would never, ever get - all on credit. I would like to buy an apartment for millions of swedish kronor, and get a loan for all of it. I feel like getting a huge tattoo (my dad would hate me for the rest of my life). I feel like going into a store and shoplift. I feel like being reckless. I have been such a "good  girl" for so long and I am tired of waiting for my reward.


And I also feel envy, a lot of it. And here's why:


1. A person I know gets an iPhone, that actually was meant for me, and sells it (because it was stolen) and gets 2 grand for it.


2. The same person gets student contributions, and I don't. BUT - we made the same amount of work and study and he made it and I did not.

3. This person has a lot of money and I have so I barely make it every month

4. He has great friends. And noone wants to be with me.



But you know what? I don't care if people think I'm wierd. Because I will always be me, and if someone doesn't like me when I'm my self - then they are not people who I want to be with.

And also, I will choose to be happy and choose to not care. Because I have my own apartment, I have a computer, I have an awesome mom, I have a great life. I will not have a person named Envy eating me up from the inside.

I can be whatever I want to be.

But I will not buy stuff for money that I don't have. I will not BUY an apartment. I will not get a tattoo (just yet) and I will not shoplift. Only in my dreams where everything is legal.

I have also not vlogged for a long time now, but that is just because I want to force myself to edit. And I will do that. I will be a happier person and I am taking care of my life right now!

I love you all who are actually reading my blog!